One cold night in Riga, Kris and I were down in “old Riga” having a beer.  We were just shooting the breeze and people watching when we noticed some girls across the way in a bar looking at us.  Being too lazy to go over we beckoned to them to come over to us.

Surprisingly, they left the warmth of the bar and came out into the cold and over to our table, where we invited them to take a seat.  We all small talked for awhile and ordered some Long Island Ice Teas, as you probably know a rather powerful blend of white spirit nips.

The girls claimed they were Russians, from Moscow.  Kris asked them a few questions about where exactly in Moscow they came from as he knows the town quite well.  The reckoned they came from the circus area and we assumed they meant the Moscow Circus.  Having a weekend in Riga was the reason they were there.

The girls kept urging us to drink up and go with them to the dance club next door. Being famous for our awesome white guy dancing we agreed.

So we made our way into the Enigma Night Club and were surprised to be the only people apart from staff.  The girls organized some vodkas shots right away.  When they arrived there was two size shooters … two small and two tall.  Kris and I were given the tall ones which we threw down our throats then hit the dance floor.

Man are we fabulous dancers (not) but this did not seem to phase these girls at all, in fact they seemed to become incredibly excited with us both. Now who could blame any normal girl for getting overwhelmingly hot while checking out the moves of the Reid boys!  Normally it just takes a hell of a lot more alcohol to get even a little bit of this same response.  So I’m beginning to wonder about it… because I do have a super fast brain as anyone can tell you.

While I’m jumping around like a fool with a tall Russian girl hanging on for dear life another round of shooters appears magically. Once again the two different sizes are shared out.  Kris and I get the tall ones.  Shoot shoot!

Back to dancing and groping.

Meanwhile my giant brain has been pondering the situation and has raised an alert. Listen you fool! What was that article you just read the other day, you know the one about clubs that way overcharge tourist for the drinks and force them to pay.  Wasn’t it a pommie that got ripped for $5,000?

enigma night club riga latvia

Hmmm…  could it be that these girls really were not under our magical spell?

I spied the shooter glasses and could see a bill shoved into a glass.  Maybe I better take a look at that, just in case my manly charms are not the real reason this girl is hanging on every word I utter.

I unravel the bill and look down at the total … can that be right… let me think… we had 8 shots of vodka, would that really come to the equivalent of $100?

NO!

You idiot.

I looked over at Kris who was doing his best white guy moves, well as good as you can with a girl draped all over you.  I got his attention and showed him the bill.  Funny how he can shrug and the girl drops like a coat to the floor.

“Screw them” or words to that effect says Kris “Let’s get out of here”

The girls get all excited cause their idiot marks are heading for the exit.  All sorts of angriness starts emanating from them and even attempts to block our exit.  I get confused and separated from Kris who has powered ahead.  So I figure the best thing for me to do is pay so I pull out my wallet.  Next thing Kris is back and grabbing my arm.  We push through the crowd with him yelling at the bouncers “if you don’t like it call the cops!”

They don’t but they don’t make a move to call the cops, so we just leave.

We reach the old Riga night air and spot some cops.  We tell them our story and they basically tell us to bugger off and they take their own advice.

We decide we need a beer so we head to a huge tent with a band playing and tons of people having a good time.  Kris goes to the bar to order.

When he returns he finds me entertaining a table of a dozen women from Sweden.  We’re all laughing because I’m such an accomplished story teller, apparently.

The night pretty much becomes a blur from this point on and both of us can only remember snatches of an entire night.

It was not until the next day we realized the Russian girls had drugged us with Rohypnol.  We can only assume that the purpose was to get us so relaxed it would have been easy to rob us.

Lucky escape, plus we got free drugs

Kris and I climbed into the old Soviet built 3^rd class rail carriage at Riga rail station. We were bound for St Petersburg, Russia at 18:00 Thursday 1^st October, 2009.

We settled into our 3^rd class cabin (see pictures). It was all new to me as I had not traveled by train since my time in the Royal Australian Navy. However, Kris is an old hand at rail travel especially in this type of carriage having crossed Siberia in one. The cabins are actually incredibly well designed and comfortably sleep 4 people. The bottom seats, which by the addition of a mattress become a bed, lift up to reveal a storage locker for the cabins inhabitants.

There is a communal table for playing cards, mixing vodka and filling out border crossing paperwork.

Each carriage or wagon as they are known in this part of the world sleeps 56 people. At each end is a toilet and sink. One end has the staff accommodation and a hot water system which passengers can make tea or soup from whenever they feel the need. The opposite end can be used by smokers.

Kris gave me a quick tour and then we settled down to complete the border crossing paperwork. I was too excited so he did it for both of us (see picture)

I was noticing that the cabin next to us had some girls in it which is always of interest to me. I needed to think of a plan to get them to invite us into their space.

So to help me with that I figured it was time for some vodka. I poured a couple of stiff ones into our juice bottles. Meanwhile Kris and I discussed all sorts of world problem solving situations . We got up to go to the smokers lounge which caught the girls eye so I said “please make sure you look after our stuff” one of them replied “We will if you give us a chocolate” Now quite by a rare chance I had bought a snickers at the station so I dived into my bag of goodies and dragged it out. I handed it over to her and loved the shocked look on her face. Kris and I then walked off to the smokers lounge.

The smokers lounge is not a nice place. It’s really a small compartment at the end of the wagon, it’s cold and stinks of smoke so I left.

Rather than waste the chocolate I walked back to the girls compartment and was invited to join them. Note to self: Carry chocolate at all times. They were both Russian girls and both spoke English one much better than the other. So it turned out to be a great opportunity for Kris to practice his Russian and to get some pointers.

After a couple of hours chatting we were out of Vodka so Kris went up to the restaurant wagon and bought some beers. I wasn’t really in the mood for beer so I wandered up and bought some more vodka. That was probably a mistake but not a much as going up again later and getting even more.

Lights out saw us kicked out of the girls compartment, damn waste of a good chocolate!

We were too wound up and vodka fueled to go to bed like a sensible person so we headed to the restaurant wagon in order not to disturb anyone with our bullshit.

So this is where things go crazy.

We’re sitting in the restaurant wagon minding our business crapping onto each other when out of nowhere one of the biggest scariest guys I’ve ever seen grabs Kris from behind and starts laying into him. This guy is huge, totally bald and ranting in Russian. Now this is a scary situation, here is a giant brute trying his darnedest to kill your kid. So I’m thinking, “Damn I have to do something or he’s gonna kill Kris” Now I’m not that big, 173 cm so what am I gonna do?

So I race over and jump on his back with all my weight behind my leap. My arms are around his neck doing my best to strangle and break his neck which happens to be about as thick as a reasonable size tree. This incredibly smart and brave action appears to have absolutely no effect on this man bear. So that only leaves me with one option. I’m have teeth and I’m not afraid to use them. I sunk them into this bastards bald head and bit as hard as I could.

The bear lets out a deep throated scream of agony, let’s go of Kris, ( whom I’m sure is rather relieved) and shakes me off as easily as a dog shaking water off it’s coat. He then races out of the wagon much to our relief.

We start hugging and rejoicing at having beaten the giant and survived relatively unscathed except for a couple of cuts and bruises.

So we begin to relax and figure we will call it a night when suddenly we see the giant and another guy wielding steel crowbars heading our way rapidly. Action stations!

We both dive at the door as they begin opening it. We both press up against it with all our might knowing full well that if these thugs get in they are going to kill us both.

They are screaming at us and we’re screaming back at them just as loudly. For some unknown reason I keep telling them that Kris is my son and to leave us alone. Kris is now pretty much holding the door by himself and I’m pleading with the giant to leave us alone and blow me down, they turned and walked away.

We still have no idea what provoked the attack or maybe even more importantly what got them to eventually leave us alone.

This was much more adventure than I wanted and totally wore me out . The adrenaline rush mixed with alcohol was just too much so we both made our way back to our cabin and crashed out until we arrived in St Petersburg (safely) I’m pretty sure this is not a typical event on a train so do not blame me if your next train ride is nowhere near as exciting as ours